The Foundry · Thoughts

Changes in life

Hi all,

I have been talking a lot about changes, what I am doing and my observations. This is a similar post to all the others, which is about Ali staying round mine more often now.

Now to start off with, Ali and are having been dating for almost 3 years now. Our anniversary is coming up next month, and we expecting to go away for a few days to York. Which should be fun and awesome, our first anniversary was to Oxford and our second to Cambridge. Both were nice holidays, a chance to get out of London and visit somewhere different in the UK.

However saying all that, Ali only met my mum November 2016. When my mum was going on holiday to Bangladesh for a month, Ali met her before my mum flew off. Now the reasoning behind her only meeting my mum after we had been together for so long is mostly because we come from a Bengali culture.  While my brothers and sister have grown up in the UK, we have a good grasp and western mindset. My mum though while living here for the last 40 years is still leaning more towards the culture of her homeland. Which is good, she has kept those things closest to her. Some things my brothers and sister never knew about.

Stating all that, Ali only met her in November. Due to the way it works with my mum, I think it boils down to knowing this person that I am with is the right one. That is why we are slightly slower in certain aspects of life then in western culture, such as the girlfriend or boyfriend meeting the family. I met Ali’s family within the first year of us going out, it was amazing to meet them, very friendly people.

Saying all that, everything went great. We both had nerves when meeting each others parents, it is an interesting experience watch my mum interact with Ali. Very nice as my mu is very talkative when she wants to be, and carried the whole conversation in the first meeting. However we both sometimes had trouble understand my mums English, she can speak very fine if a little broken. For myself I only every hear my mum talking in Bengali with a splattering of English. To hear her fully speaking in English was an experience in itself, trying to talk back to her just in English was like climbing a mounting.

Now don’t get me wrong, I speak English fluently. However I have usually always spoken to my mum in Bengali with a splattering of English throughout my whole life. Speaking to my mum in  proper English is like climbing a mountain, I have had to force out the words I am trying to speak. When speaking to mum that first night there was a mental block in place, that I had never experienced before. It took me sometime to figure out why it was happening and trying to sort it out. We had a good laugh about it, and trying ways to get past this mental block. Now that Ali has met my mum a few times, this block seems to be easing now, I hope that it will go away sometime in the future.

It feels nice waking up with Ali and being able to enjoy the places around Havering, we have been around here before but have always known that we would need to head back to somewhere else. Now it seems we slowly take in the sites (Havering does have a few), but being also closer to my friends here. Just hanging out in my house has also been nice, relaxing on the sofa or on the bed and watching how Ali becomes more comfortable in the house. It is all an experience, I will treasure for a long time.

My mum likes Ali a lot, she thinks highly of her. From the first meeting to just this weekend, she has always been happy to see Ali. That is what I want, for Ali and my mum to get along and for there to be not any issues. Just like any other person in this situation, I am happy things are on the right track. I am glad my mum likes Ali, because I think Ali is amazing and beautiful person.

Over all, this year I think we will be spending a lot of time round my house. Or at the very least splitting our time between each house, we have plans to go travelling mid or end of the year. Which is another thing to look forward to. I hope my mum and Ali continue to get along well into the future.

Anyway thanks for reading my post, a bit more of a random and personal one.




3 thoughts on “Changes in life

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