I like games, most people do. I love boards games, mobile games and console games.
However over the past few years I have been unable to complete any game, or at least consistently. When I was younger I used to be able to play a game till its completion, spending as many hours as necessary to do so. I was stubborn, immersed and happy to spend so many hours to completed a game. On some noteworthy games I spent over a few hundred hours altogether playing a game, finding out all its secrets and then completing it. Then the next day I would sit back down and start it all over again, I was a hooked. A proper gamer, I loved it.
My favourite games are mostly Final Fantasy’s, so you can tell with the name it comes with long hours of dedication. The characters dragged me in, struggling with their little lives and I would do everything I could to see them achieve their goals. I didn’t care about the time I spent, my days at home were not spent outside with friends for the most part but inside my room with a blanket around me furiously pressing the buttons on the controller and staring up the the small screen.
I love it and still do.
However now I am 28 years old, I work a full time job in London. I have a beautifully amazing girlfriend, and a active social life. I wish to become a published author, so any free time I have goes to writing my books, querying agents and thinking up other fantastical plot-lines.
Stating all the above makes it seem like I have no time for gaming at all, but that is completing wrong. I can allocate time to gaming, a free afternoon or day from work on the weekend here or there. I have tried to play games, all the latest ones such as Shadows of Mordor, GTA, Destiny and others. However none of the above I have actually completed, going back a few years I can see the same number of games played but only a handful completed like Bioshock (amazing three games that everyone should play), however there are many I haven’t finished.
It comes down to the fact that I am older and for me personally even if do devote a lot of time to games I am just not as devoted them as I was when I was younger. I have more worries and thoughts in the back of my mind that can stop me from even starting up a game, and even if I get into the game I will still think to myself that I have to do do something else in a bit so I can only play for a little while.
All these thoughts and feelings add up, I wish they didn’t but they do. Like an overbearing weight on my shoulders, one that cannot be ignored. I may also just not be into gaming anymore, or not as much as I used to. My interest in games wanes very quickly, and unless it is one I am very excited about i.e. Final Fantasy, then I may not put as much effort into it. It is something I am sad about, I do want to play more, games are an excellent release, a perfect way to shut out the rest of the outside world for a short period of time.
Final Fantasy 15 is coming out in a few weeks, I tell everyone that if there is any game I would go through all the hoops for it would be the Final Fantasy series. I always complete them, and usually enjoy them immensely. I think I am also going to start off slowly, first with Final Fantasy 15 and then continuing to complete the other games on my list.
Gaming is fun little pass time, it helps me unwind and it is not something I wish to lose. I love the stories that come out from games, from the fantastical to the more down to earth elements. Its like reading or watching a movie, discovering a new world and peoples plight. Perhaps I need to resign myself to the fact that I am not much of a gamer anymore, and just enjoy what I can. I will find a middle ground, there are so many amazing games to enjoy and so many news ones coming out soon.
I am after all a gamer at heart.